This is what is sounds like when doves cry…

So when does the hurting stop?

I got an Asian Chicken salad from Panera today and I told them not to put the chicken on it.

I got my salad back to the office, and it had chicken.

Why does Panera hate me so?

I never did anything to hurt it.

Well…

There was the time I had sex with its girlfriend in the men’s bathroom at that skuzzy punk bar…

And the time I borrowed Panera’s car and ended up driving it into a telephone pole…

Oh…

I forgot that one time that I was on some heavy meth and busted through the wall to its living room…

Then I stabbed it in the leg with a boning knife…

There was also that time Panera’s mom was getting all up im my grill for stabbing it with the boning knife, so I punched her in the face…

Either way, shouldn’t all that be water under the bridge by now?

Did I deserve this?

I think not.