The Road to World War, a Tale in Three Parts. Part 3: Korea Bo Bea Banana Fanna Fo Feea

If Iran decides to stick with the diplomatic process and accept the cookie bouquet the UN gave them, then the Administration willbe in a lurch.   Enter North Korea, literally.  So, we go in full force, balls out into N. Korea.  Sounds easy enough.  But wait!  What about that sleeping red giant over there?  Our relations with China have been pretty good lately, Taiwan not withstanding, but we have to remember our history with these guys.  At one point we really hated each other.  We actually went so far as to go into 2 unofficial wars with them.  Once in a country called Vietnam, the other time in a country called Korea.  Yeah, that’s right Korea.  Not North Korea, not South Korea, but Korea.  That’s all water under the Bridge over the River Kwai.  Oh, that?  That was when we were friends with China. 

But anyway, we’ve been good to the Chinese economy for a little while and visa versa, they’ve been nice and friendly, and visa versa, so we’ve got one of those nice grey alliances going.  The US bringing massive amounts of troops into their territory will piss them off.  It’ll piss off Russia too.  It’ll probably piss off  China enough to get them to get a little froggy up in our shit.  So you have China, the Asian version of the US in the 20’s, ready to leap on the US.  Considering their economic sway throughout the world, who do you think the countries of the world will back?  I don’t think they’ll directly back the US, and remember what I said before about the “With Us and Against Us” camps?  Well, once again, either they’re with us, or helping our enemies.  So we’ll paint the world as our enemy again and given the sheer overwhelming power of the Chinese people, we’ll flail and lash out at the rest of the world, much like a political Wham-O Wiggling Water Snake.  This spazmatronic fit will really piss off other sovereign nation states and they’ll all launch nucular missiles at our major cities leaving us with a sparse population forced to hide from mutant bands in urban wastelands, our only hope being a one eyed scruffy guy with long hair and a black muscle shirt…

The Road to World War, a Tale in Three Parts. Part 2: So You’ve Decided to Invade Iran

This is the most likely scenario. We not only have troops already stationed on both boarders, but we have a larger coalition of world backing at this stage of diplomacy.  The world backing will not exceed this stage of diplomacy.  The increasingly aggressive tones used by the Administration will again paint the world into two camps:  With Us or Supporting Our Enemies.  The rest of the world doesn’t really want to back another US lead invasion into another Middle Easter Country, considering our recent record.  Not for us, they become against us.  The Middle East, seeing another fellow brown country (yeah, I know, Iran is where the Aryan race came from, but because of years of cross germination under the Ottoman Empire, they’re brown now, so suck it), another fellow MUSLIM country, being invaded by the US.  This, my dear readers will be the last stand, seen as the final push towards a war of fundamentalist cultures.  CRASH! BOOM!  SHAZAM!  KERPLOW! Now the world has to choose sides. 

Where do you think Russia will go? 

What aboutChina? 

Where will England go once they give Blair the boot? 

What about Germany? 

What about the people down south of the boarder that aren’t too fond of us? 
Korea will be looking our way even harder with those nukes of theirs.  See, everyone will be picking sides, and we’re not the big kid on the block we used to be.  Granted, we aren’t Osama Yo Mamma, but we’ll see.  Either way, we’re looking at a world wide mess and we’re all doomed.

 

Next: The Final Installment: N. Korea Bo Bea Banana Fana Fo Feea.

The Road to World War, a Tale in Three Parts. Part 1: Election Time Again

By the end of this presidential term, we will be invading either Iran or
N. Korea.  Between the scandals plaguing the leadership, the lack of resolution in Iraq and the Immigration in-fighting, the Republican Party is losing ground.  It will be a challenge to get a moderate Republican into office at this rate, let alone Bill Frist or Jeb Bush (like there’s any doubt about either of these 2, c’mon).  There is always the Gay Marriage angle, but Iraq looming overhead kinda diminishes its power.  Immigration?  Like I said before, that one’s doing more harm than good.  They need something with some grab.  Enter the bad boys on the block, the enemies of our friends, allies and country: Iran and North Korea.  Both are working on nuclear capabilities, and both clearly dislike the US.  While we are involved in international diplomatic channels with the leaders of both countries, we’re keeping the overtone of aggression in there, just to keep them on their toes. 

These countries leaders share one thing with W. if nothing else, swagger.  Any little push they get, any bad tone of voice, and they’ll tighten up and withdraw from the diplomatic process.  Just ask South Korea.  They’re not too happy about how we’re handling Kim Jong-il right about now, but that’s another point.  As the 2008 elections near, the aggressive posturing will increase until one of the two countries becomes an imminent threat to our national security.  At this point, where ever we decide to invade, it will be a popular front.  They HAVE nuclear capabilities.  They wave them around.  They want to kill us.  How much more clear cut can you get.  No argument.  Bada bing.  Republicans stand strong in the face of a popular enemy and close the gap.  Now, I’m not saying another war will provide the red carpet into the oval office, but it will give them the oomph they need to just squeak out over the top.

 

Next up:  Part 2: So You’ve Decided to Invade
Iran

The Best Place to Find the News that Agrees with You

In a kinda sorta recent Pew survey, (hey, it was the most recent survey I could find, so fucketh thine offeth) some people that call people and ask them things while they're eating dinner discovered that more people are getting their news online than ever. Just check these tables out about what the people that actually took this survey think:

See That? People are reading the news online like mad.
BUT WHY?
I'll argue that it is the same reason people move to the suburbs, the same reason people commute to work alone in a big bo-honkin SUV and the same reason there are more classifications for punk rock than butterflies. It's because we like to keep to our own. We like to not have contradictory or even alien viewpoints into our lives. I'll admit, I fall into this trap just like the rest of the slobs. I'll also admit that I'm a registered Democrat and I read right wing media. But the problem is, if it's not within our Google search or on the news site that prescribes to our specific world view, we aren't even aware that it exists.

THAT is why I like the summer. When it gets nice outside and a gentle breeze comes in from the harbor, all the people of the city come out. It's nice to sit on the stoop and have some human interaction with the people in your neighborhood. You take what rolls by, and that's life. It's cool though. Through that experience, we know our neighbors, their kids, and the local shop owners. We also know the local crack heads, the trouble makers and the dealers. We know who's good and who's bad, and who's about to be evicted. We know the cops on the beat that patrol our hood. We know everyone. You know what else? Everyone in our neighborhood stoops too, so they know everyone too.

I think I had a point to tie all this crap together, but I can't remember what it was. I bet you're smarter than me anyway, and you could do it more eloquently with your left arm tied around your back.

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Taking the time to talk to people that would normally be written off because of a language barrier:

Last night the wife and I were at the bar having a couple of drinks after dinner, and this little older Latino guy came in. He was in a minor panic going on with “Ayudame, ayudame” and such. I was the only one in the bar that spoke a lick of Espanol, so I did my best to translate what he was saying. At first I thought he was saying he had been robbed at the park up the street, and they had taken all of his clothes and money and beaten him up. After listening a little more, I started to understand what he was really saying. He was hungry, needed a place to “chower” and “chave” and a place to wash his clothes. Being the soft hearted, liberal pussy I am, I wracked my brain for one of the local resource centers for migrant workers in the area. After much drunken brain wracking, I remembered a place down the street and gave him my best directions (if izquierda isn’t left, btw, I could have sent him into a whole other kettle of refried beans). He took it like I was throwing him out or sending him to be killed and sat down quietly for a few minutes. Only a few minutes. Suddenly, with great aplomb, he got up and started singing La Bamba and dancing. We wuz all “Whadafuck?!” and he was like, “Baila la bamba que nececita una poca de gracia!” n shit. We were only mildly amused. After the owner of the bar chilled him out, he said he was sorry and sat back down. Then he got to the point. He said in mildly clear English “Can I have one beer?” That was it. I told him if he had money, he could have a beer, but alas, he was dead broke. That’s when it started to get not so cute. He said, if he didn’t get a beer, he’d stay all night and sleep there. Que exasperando. I mean, shit. I honestly tried to get the guy some help, and all he wanted was a beer. Made me wish I’da just not even bothered to talk to the guy in the first place. I should have just kept it shut and shooed him along like everyone else.

ON THE OTHER HAND

I got a call this morning from a doctor that sounded like he’d suffered a bad stroke. He was hard to understand, but I took the time and effort to listen. I didn’t have to, really, I could have just pushed him on to voice mail, but I didn’t I took the time to listen to what he needed (he was trying to get us in on a federal survey for a specific program, no biggie even). I could tell that it was a chore for him to make these calls, but my taking the time to listen really did him well. After I took the pertinent info down, we had a little chit chat about how great of a town B-more is. I could tell that little exchange brightened his day. All because I took the effort to listen.

I know what you’re thinking “yeah, so this makes you a better than me or something?” Honestly, if you don’t take the time to at least give people a chance to be human, then yes, I am better than you.