Rats with Wings

Damnit.

I forgot my iPod today. That really blows. I made this sweet mix Saturday night too. The wife and I had a dinner party. We had a few friends over, some sangria, some wine, some food, some good conversation. After that we had a nice satanic orgy/sacrifice. Quite a nice evening. My iPod mix reflected it too.

Fuckabuncha.

Thus, I am stuck here at work sans tunes. That’s a kick in the head. Now I can’t do a 20 song hit list. I am teh 5@dZ0rZ.

But anyways.

You know what I hate? These old and/or homeless people that like to feed pigeons in B-more. And, no, it’s not like the romantic vision you get of people feeding the birds in Central Park. Nuh uh. These people feed the little flying bastards on street corners, in the middle of the street and on well traveled sidewalks. If anything I encounter on a daily basis deserves a “WTF?!”, that would be it. Pigeons are a blight. They aren’t cute. They aren’t endearing. They’re vermin. They’re dirty, aggressive little scumbags. They root in trash, poop all over public property with wild abandon and, I swear, they stink. I know, you’re saying “dude, birds don’t smell, it’s a biological imperative!” To that I say, “naw, dude, have you ever stuck your nose up in one of those flea infested, lousy creatures? They smell like hobo piss.” Not like I have ever stuck my nose up in a pigeon, a pissie hobo or anything, that’s fucking gross.

My wife, and many others, call pigeons rats with wings, and if I had never had to whack a bat with a broom, I’d be inclined to share that view. I always think I’d be hard pressed to find someone that doesn’t share my view on pigeons. That’s why I’m still amazed to see people feeding them in public. You’d think there would be such a public outcry every time someone is spotted feeding those little fuckers. There is when people give money to panhandlers, and they’re people. If I thought the jackasses that feed pigeons on the street actually had internet access, I’d call them out right now. I don’t even think they know how to read, let alone work a fuckin mouse. They’re probably all “I’m ascared u that interweb. It’s just preverts and baby snatchers on there.” Yeah, but they just don’t know how much fun that is. Obviously. They think feeding pigeons on the sidewalk is a good time. Jerks.